So you may ask, now does over commitment lead to clutter? Well, like to much clutter in your home, over committing to to many things can lead one to feel overwhelmed. We all can be guilty of it at one point or another as well. Saying “no” can be hard to do. If you are a people pleaser like I am, it can be extra challenging. We tend to say “yes” because we don’t want to let people down.
But when you take on too much, it isn’t just you that suffers, so can your loved ones. You end up spending more time chasing around for everyone else and giving all of your time and energy to them and neglecting the ones that you really need to be there for. There are ways that you can say no without coming across like you don’t care or by being impolite.
For many of us, saying “no” can make you feel a bit uncomfortable or nervous and therefore we ramble on and some how manage to dig our own graves and end up turning our “no” into a “yes.” So, if you have a real reason that you can’t commit and help with what they are asking, politely say “no.”
Try these steps to politely say no
- Start by giving a compliment if it is appropriate for the situation.
- Tell them your answer.
- Politely say thank you.
- Remember, we have all been on the asking end, so don’t forget to encourage the person.
- When you have given your answer, change the subject or excuse yourself.
Maintaining a smile and keeping your demeanor light throughout the conversation helps display that there aren’t any hard feelings.
Know Your Value
People tend to value other peoples opinions and look to others for approval. If you always depend on other people’s approval, what you are basically saying is “Their opinion of me is more important than my opinion about myself.” Remind yourself that you are unique, valuable, and important. No one else in this world can offer what you can. It is ok to make mistakes, because nobody is perfect. In fact, we learn most from our mistakes. If you live your life depending on other people’s approval, you will never feel free and truly happy.
Don’t Feel Obligated
We all have reasons for saying no. Often times, it may be something that we aren’t willing to discuss with others (and that is just fine). If this is the case, try saying something like, “I’m just not able to.” Leave it at that – if you must, change the subject, or say, “I’m sorry, but I need to go.”
Stand True To Your Convictions
If the person is adamant, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Be firm in your words. Tell them that your mind is made up and that you are not going to change it.
Remember that your self-worth does not depend on how much you do for other people.